AG00474_.GIF (8478 bytes)Communication Skills


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Email Flash From Our Man: Paatero, Heikki in Lausanne
Subject: FW: Euro-language will be renewed

> Euro-English

> The European Union commissioners have announced that
> agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for > European communications,
> rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the
> negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English
> spelling had some room for
> improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be
> known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short). 

> In the first year, 's' will be used instead of the soft 'c'.
> Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy.
> Also, the hard 'c' will be replaced with 'k.' Not only will
> this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

> There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
> troublesome 'ph' will be replaced by 'f'. This will make words like
> 'fotograf' 20 per sent shorter.

> In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan
> be expekted
> to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
> possible. Governments
> will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a
> deterent to akurate speling. 

> Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the
> languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

> By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
> 'th' by 'z' and 'W' by 'V'. >

> During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords
> kontaining 'ou', and similar changes vud of kors; be aplid to
> ozer kombinations of leters. 

> After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl.
> Zer vil b no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it
> ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.


(o o)

DISCLAIMER: Any errors in spelling, fact or tact are transmission errors..
..There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation...
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